WHAT YOU TOLERATE NEVER STOPS
Short story: A Man cheated on his Wife and felt guilty. So he came to his Wife and confessed “Honey, sorry I slept with another Woman today “ The Wife was disappointed and hurt, but lovingly, she held her husband with tears rolling down her cheeks and she said to him, “ I forgive you, but please don’t do it again.” ….But the man did not stop! He did it again and again, each time confessing to the wife, and the wife continued to forgive him hoping for change, but there was no change.
The moral of the story: The wife was actually indirectly enabling and encouraging her man to cheat by giving forgiveness without demanding for change. Just mere forgiveness and saying don’t do it again was not really dealing with the situation.
Friends, some of us have relationships with people who have serious character issues (Illicit sexual relationships, Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, physical abuse e.t.c) and all we have done is encourage those behaviors by tolerating them or down playing the seriousness of the issues. We just keep forgiving without demanding real change, and guess who suffers or gets sick at the end? Yes, You!
So how do you stop enabling and encouraging dysfunctional behaviors in your partner?
1) Face facts: By denying the real problem your partner has, you are enabling your loved one.
2) Control your own behavior: You can only change yourself and how you react to the person you’re enabling: